School Loop is down. I hate when this happens. I have to be able to stare at my progress report at all times, otherwise I feel unsure.
What is worse is that new test scores are posted. I just need to check my grades, that's it.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
hoy es navidad
Today is Christmas. It was a good one.
My sister spent an hour crying that she didn't get a laptop. Since when does a 9 year old need a laptop?! She's a spoiled brat. She ALMOST ruined my Christmas. I don't ever remember being like that at her age. What aggravates me the most is how my parents foster this selfishness in her. She gets everything she wants plus more at the drop of a hat. I'm not jealous, just annoyed.
I spent the whole day in my pajamas and ate too many Christmas cookies to count. I baked them myself. I've been quite the Susy Homemaker lately :)
I also spent the day trying to get past level one of Cabela's Big Game Hunter 2009. I failed and I am still failing at the moment. I got in trouble because my mother said I was too excited over the gore and violence of the game. Which makes no sense. What else would you be excited over when you play the game? I truly cannot help the fact that a sense of indescribable power and masculinity overcomes me when I pick up that Wii Zapper and shoot a lion in Tanzania. I wanted to share the excitement with my family and I was reprimanded for it. Ridiculous. I guess it's like what Will Smith said, "Parents just don't understand."
Whatever, I'm buying Call of Duty: World At War tomorrow with my Christmas money, NOBODY can stop me. This should be even more exciting, because the game is wifi compatible and I will be able to shoot actual people. Not just some pussy deer and hyenas.
I think I'm slowly but surely becoming a GAMERGIRL. I am very proud of this.
My sister spent an hour crying that she didn't get a laptop. Since when does a 9 year old need a laptop?! She's a spoiled brat. She ALMOST ruined my Christmas. I don't ever remember being like that at her age. What aggravates me the most is how my parents foster this selfishness in her. She gets everything she wants plus more at the drop of a hat. I'm not jealous, just annoyed.
I spent the whole day in my pajamas and ate too many Christmas cookies to count. I baked them myself. I've been quite the Susy Homemaker lately :)
I also spent the day trying to get past level one of Cabela's Big Game Hunter 2009. I failed and I am still failing at the moment. I got in trouble because my mother said I was too excited over the gore and violence of the game. Which makes no sense. What else would you be excited over when you play the game? I truly cannot help the fact that a sense of indescribable power and masculinity overcomes me when I pick up that Wii Zapper and shoot a lion in Tanzania. I wanted to share the excitement with my family and I was reprimanded for it. Ridiculous. I guess it's like what Will Smith said, "Parents just don't understand."
Whatever, I'm buying Call of Duty: World At War tomorrow with my Christmas money, NOBODY can stop me. This should be even more exciting, because the game is wifi compatible and I will be able to shoot actual people. Not just some pussy deer and hyenas.
I think I'm slowly but surely becoming a GAMERGIRL. I am very proud of this.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
I'm tired.
Today I went to the Del Amo Mall and shopped for my parents Christmas present.
As I looked around at all the shoppers, the families, the youth, the stores, and the incandescent lights, I thought about how tired I am.
I am tired of not being a real teenager.
While all the real teens party, have sex, get high, and drink, I am at home. I spend my Friday nights completing study guides and watching documentaries about exotic cat dancers. I spend my Saturdays trying to improve my tennis wii skill level (which is over 1600 :]), attending study sessions, watching t.v. with a friend, spending time with my parents, or babysitting. I spend my Sundays completing all my homework, frantically trying to complete my history notes, looking forward to 10 o'clock when Rock of Love Charm School comes on. (The finale should be airing tonight?)
I mean yes, I hang out with friends and I am a generally happy child, but I want to be a real teen. I want to sneak out, get drunk at a party, regret hooking up with a guy (I actually already do, but besides the point), and not come in until 1 in the morning. And do it all over again the next weekend. But this will never happen. Why? Because I am a good child. And my friends are all good children. They could even be labeled as prudes sometimes. But I'm not a prude, I just live the lifestyle of one.
So I am stuck going to QUESTie parties and my idea of fun being Back to the Future marathons. (Even though they are fun.)
I guess I just have to deal with the fact that I am the girl who spends her time stressing over college and her spare time researching Frederick Douglas for fun. I am the girl who checks school loop on vacation and thinks of Klingon as an actual language. I am the girl who runs out of room on the Common App for extracurriculars and cries over B's. I should just get a big Q to stamp on my forehead every day.
And although I keep telling myself everything will be better in college, I know it won't. I'm still going to stress and I know between double- majoring and internships it will be the SAME SHIT as high school. The upside will be that I will be surrounded by more intellectual people, hopefully.
AGH. All I want is one night, ONE NIGHT, to be a real teen. But it won't happen. I might as well accept my fate. And if I don't get into Stanford, all this sacrifice of a real teenage-hood will be for nothing. GAHHHH. I've been living by the motto "If you can't add to your transcripts, why bother".
I wish I knew how to play the guitar, so I could at least do something cool during my uneventful Saturday nights. If I could play the guitar, I'd spend hours strumming the strings and singing some angsty Courtney Love song.
But all I can play is the saxophone, adding to my lameness.
Everything would be better if I was famous, or a youtube star, or maybe just a real teen once in a while.
Too bad I am neither of those.
When I spell checked this blog, gangsta was an option for angsty. Oh yes.
As I looked around at all the shoppers, the families, the youth, the stores, and the incandescent lights, I thought about how tired I am.
I am tired of not being a real teenager.
While all the real teens party, have sex, get high, and drink, I am at home. I spend my Friday nights completing study guides and watching documentaries about exotic cat dancers. I spend my Saturdays trying to improve my tennis wii skill level (which is over 1600 :]), attending study sessions, watching t.v. with a friend, spending time with my parents, or babysitting. I spend my Sundays completing all my homework, frantically trying to complete my history notes, looking forward to 10 o'clock when Rock of Love Charm School comes on. (The finale should be airing tonight?)
I mean yes, I hang out with friends and I am a generally happy child, but I want to be a real teen. I want to sneak out, get drunk at a party, regret hooking up with a guy (I actually already do, but besides the point), and not come in until 1 in the morning. And do it all over again the next weekend. But this will never happen. Why? Because I am a good child. And my friends are all good children. They could even be labeled as prudes sometimes. But I'm not a prude, I just live the lifestyle of one.
So I am stuck going to QUESTie parties and my idea of fun being Back to the Future marathons. (Even though they are fun.)
I guess I just have to deal with the fact that I am the girl who spends her time stressing over college and her spare time researching Frederick Douglas for fun. I am the girl who checks school loop on vacation and thinks of Klingon as an actual language. I am the girl who runs out of room on the Common App for extracurriculars and cries over B's. I should just get a big Q to stamp on my forehead every day.
And although I keep telling myself everything will be better in college, I know it won't. I'm still going to stress and I know between double- majoring and internships it will be the SAME SHIT as high school. The upside will be that I will be surrounded by more intellectual people, hopefully.
AGH. All I want is one night, ONE NIGHT, to be a real teen. But it won't happen. I might as well accept my fate. And if I don't get into Stanford, all this sacrifice of a real teenage-hood will be for nothing. GAHHHH. I've been living by the motto "If you can't add to your transcripts, why bother".
I wish I knew how to play the guitar, so I could at least do something cool during my uneventful Saturday nights. If I could play the guitar, I'd spend hours strumming the strings and singing some angsty Courtney Love song.
But all I can play is the saxophone, adding to my lameness.
Everything would be better if I was famous, or a youtube star, or maybe just a real teen once in a while.
Too bad I am neither of those.
When I spell checked this blog, gangsta was an option for angsty. Oh yes.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
permanent
It's my first blog. I have nothing else to do on a Friday night, so I made one of these.
I like to complain, so why not do it in the form of an organized blog?
I probably would have made one a while ago, but I felt that it would be too permanent. For two months, every friday or saturday night I would type in blogger.com. I'd think " I am going to make a blog, here I go." I'd press the sign up button, put in all of my information (name, email, etc.), and press continue. Then I would be faced with Step 2, in which I was asked to create a URL and title. I'd spend anywhere from 15 to an hour trying to come up with something witty and personal. Sometimes, I'd be somewhat satisfied with a mediocre answer to my title or URL. As I would type in the letters, I'd exit out my tabs.
It all felt to permanent. I mean, this is a good mark, MY mark on the internet. I wanted this to be good. But I am really bad with decisions and permanent things.
This is why I still haven't put in a personalized URL for my myspace. :/
Christmas is cominggg. This thought just popped in my head as I looked at the Christmas tree in our living room. It's not decorated. It's not standing. It's not even untied or feathered out.
I wonder how long it will be until the Christmas tree is decorated.
My family is finally celebrating Kwanzaa this year! :)
I can celebrate being black by lighting candles the color of African flags. I am really, really excited.
Today is a really good day, because it is the first day of winter break. I am going to celebrate by watching the movie Sid and Nancy.
I like to complain, so why not do it in the form of an organized blog?
I probably would have made one a while ago, but I felt that it would be too permanent. For two months, every friday or saturday night I would type in blogger.com. I'd think " I am going to make a blog, here I go." I'd press the sign up button, put in all of my information (name, email, etc.), and press continue. Then I would be faced with Step 2, in which I was asked to create a URL and title. I'd spend anywhere from 15 to an hour trying to come up with something witty and personal. Sometimes, I'd be somewhat satisfied with a mediocre answer to my title or URL. As I would type in the letters, I'd exit out my tabs.
It all felt to permanent. I mean, this is a good mark, MY mark on the internet. I wanted this to be good. But I am really bad with decisions and permanent things.
This is why I still haven't put in a personalized URL for my myspace. :/
Christmas is cominggg. This thought just popped in my head as I looked at the Christmas tree in our living room. It's not decorated. It's not standing. It's not even untied or feathered out.
I wonder how long it will be until the Christmas tree is decorated.
My family is finally celebrating Kwanzaa this year! :)
I can celebrate being black by lighting candles the color of African flags. I am really, really excited.
Today is a really good day, because it is the first day of winter break. I am going to celebrate by watching the movie Sid and Nancy.
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